"Yup that's me.. I speak"

Yup thats me...the one who can't speak your english.

Uh huh, I lack the speech you speak the way you teach that shit to me. 

Oops, annoyed are we? At my pronunciation of your words, the words that also teach me to say "yes, sir, "no ma'am," or "may I" instead of "can I." 

Say what you say, while I walk along in my path of speech with my tongue. I mean, as long as I survive the brutal beatings of my voice cuz I can't speak the way you speak and argue the way you yell.

Let it be known, that I lack your fluent tongue; your "whitewash" accent. Then again, will I want to lose my voice? Maybe I do; cuz it is only this where you might label me as educated in a society where my culture has been decapitated from the onset of my mother's hesitation to assimilate.

Yup this is me. A first generation/half Americanized, last generation immigrant of my family's misfortunes. Where my native tongue meets my learned speech; I'm stuck in the middle struggling to communicate with a mother who only speaks in my past and dealing with the real world telling me that I am not "educated" enough.

I mis-use your words in sentences, mis-place your pronouns and prepositions in my writings. Is this my fault? Yes, you say. Cuz in your world, one must speak your language to be allowed to take the oath of citizenry. Well, I guess my lack of fluency and literacy in your language labels me unfit.

I will take that label with pride. Cuz I am not what you want, but frankly you're not what I want.

I spoke my thoughts in the speech you have taught, so go on and re-read this for mistakes and grammar check, cuz all I have to say is: Yes, this is me, I can't speak english but I can speak.

20 Dec 06 3:37am

You probably guessed that I didn't write that. My bad-ass wife did. About an hour before meeting Sokchea for the first time (my friend Drew introduced us) I made the mistake of looking through her Facebook wall (if you think that's unusual, you must not be a member of the Millennial Generation). And, I stumbled upon that post. Yeah, it scared the shit out of me. Afraid to talk, I just sat there cradling my beer watching surf videos at Mai Tai Bar. (Note to Sokchea-- in retrospect, is cultural genocide really an appropriate first date conversation starter?? Note to myself-- is Mai Tais really an appropriate place for a first date??).  

Many in Hawai'i can relate to the anger, the mourning over cultural "decapitation," and the ensuing disenfranchisement that Sokchea writes about. Yet, I believe her words are even more valuable to people like me: those of us who can't relate to it. Grammatical articulation does not equal eloquence. I could never have written what Sokchea wrote above because I have no idea what it feels like to struggle with a language or carry the stereotype of that struggle. I have no idea what it feels like to capitulate to the language of my oppressors, to forget the language of my culture, or to be judged based on how I arrange my words. While ethnicity and language in Hawai'i are more complex than elsewhere, I, as a haole born on Kaua'i, am not qualified to write much of a commentary on stereotyping or racism. So I'll stop there.  

I posted her writing because, for me, it is a powerful reminder of the severe limitations of my perspective.